The Mondegreen.

That angsty teen.

Bruising February 28, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 2:37 pm

I recently got a bookcase for my bedroom. It’s very tall, and it’s made of a very deep, dark-coloured wood. It was made in Indonesia and if you look carefully you can find all the nails holding it together poking out here and there. I put all my books in it, and on the bottom level I keep my vinyl records, and in the top corner I hide a black book.

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I’m deadly scared of the things I wrote in there once, and if I think about it, or I go near it, the past comes back to haunt me, and I’m forced to deal with problems that I desperately want to avoid. I muse that the black book infects objects that lay near it. I recently wrote something into my battered old blue diary from year 12 that had been a couple of books from the top corner, and the curse was provoked and solved the problem I had divulged to the pages of September 13 and 14 with brutal irony.

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I’ve got to do something to find some peace, I feel like a ghost just going through the motions of living – and have been for some months now. Faces, places, names, thoughts, feelings, I really hate bringing this kind of attention to myself but I honestly feel sick. There has to be some kind of potent drug one can take to give relief for irrational anxiety.

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Come on WordPress. Commiserate with me.

 

For Ben H February 26, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 10:26 pm

Just become big

Grow and expand

And become large

And massive

And become the size of the sun

And never stop

.

Because it’s okay to feel that way

And the stretching timbers

Which might burn

Were never meant to be there

.

Everything already

The marching

The shoulders

.

Say something

Tell,

Please tell

But its not really right to trust

Change the subject.

.

A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the National Trust

 

More Sunburn February 21, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 11:56 pm

Something else

.

What is it?

What’s inside this lobe

Field of daisies

Fields of you and i

Where our eyes don’t meet.

Where we use our feet

To find opposite hemispheres in which  to lie

.

I think the sense has left

What’s there is how it works now:

running idle

.

Running.

I run through dirty hospitals

Trying to save people from being cut up

Alive

.

Where did this come from?

What is it?

It’s something else.

You don’t exist anymore

.

1247

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What’s going to happen?

Forbid the new things, please.

I’m not liking what I feel,

What I can see I know will happen

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I find the whole scenario

Found it grotesque

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At least I like Sherbies

My parents, their lives,

Mine?

The pretty girlies.

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I’m under construction?

That’ll do.

 

Ritsuko Now Has a Purpose! February 19, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 10:34 pm

(22:15:25) Buhlairrr: anyway, take devo songs, and make them 60s rock-ish
(22:16:16) W&T Magazine: girl you want would be perfect for that
(22:16:16) Buhlairrr: like you said
(22:16:23) Buhlairrr: it would be!
(22:16:26) W&T Magazine: coal mine would sound awesome on jangly guitar
(22:17:19) Buhlairrr: darn tooten, we’re doing this
(22:17:25) Buhlairrr: ritsuko has a purpose
(22:17:42) W&T Magazine: “Ritsuko: the mix-ups no-one was asking for but got anyway.”
(22:17:47) Buhlairrr: hahahahahaha
(22:18:08) Buhlairrr: “Ritsuko: The arse-full of smarties you can’t unsee”
(22:18:35) W&T Magazine: “Ritsuko: Brilliant when sober.”
(22:18:55) Buhlairrr: i am just lolling at the phrase “no-one asked for but got anyway”
(22:19:09) Buhlairrr: “But i.. no i.. yeah.. yeah thanks.”
(22:20:06) W&T Magazine: hahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhaha
(22:20:34) W&T Magazine: “oh wow… yeh, this is… yeh. Defintely devo.”
(22:20:58) Buhlairrr: hahahaha
(22:21:18) W&T Magazine: oh god
(22:21:18) Buhlairrr: oh my god
(22:21:26) W&T Magazine: i’m laughing really hard right now, mum asked me what’s up
(22:21:27) Buhlairrr: funniest thing this week
(22:21:33) Buhlairrr: or month!
(22:21:35) Buhlairrr: month!
(22:21:56) W&T Magazine: month! funniest thing of the month!

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(23:01:16) Buhlairrr: yes i think it would be nice to have a band named Ritsuko Akagi and the Eva Unit Ones
(23:03:07) ciel errant: be less azn, blair
(23:03:47) Buhlairrr: we can’t be friends.

 

Or maybe like, get a funnel and try and make it go into a USB port February 17, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 10:02 am
Tags: , , , ,

Christian always has shitloads of food. He should put it in his scanner and send it to me.

 

NGC February 11, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 10:13 pm

“And so you, you take one of these, and you become a monster?”

“One becomes someone else, not an animal. The chemicals in the medicine alter your thoughts, memories, senses, ultimately your whole mind. In my case, I became a Gremanese Private, with orders to report to someone.”

“A Gremanese psychopathic killer?”

“That was the second part of the pill. The pysche of a famous mass murderer was stored in the chemicals to be released first. I suppose that explains my determination to scramble the desert – and my heatstroke, among other things.”

“This story is almost unbelievable,” Bertrina rubbed her head.

“Ask the Minister if you don’t believe me,” Plel laid back down, staring at the glowing roof. “It was because of Ragzin. Like photographs or electric lights. Besides, anything’s possible now. Supposedly dead nations now grow three heads, rich men become petty servants. Jardenia is like wet clay again.”

Bertrina said nothing.

“Are you tired?”

“Yes.”

“Would you like a pillow? Take one.”

“Okay.”

Time had left the two, and after what seemed like a day later, Plel found Bertrina staring at the door that hung flush to the wall across the room, the frosted glass playing with dark shadows.

“The Minister said he’d be here,” Bertrina’s head rested against the wall, the file reassembled from the ground on her lap.

“Is that why you’re here?”

“I’m reporting to him here, yes.”

tbc

 

bastards! February 10, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 9:38 am
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I had to have received an Austudy payment a week ago to get the $950 payment! AHHHHHHHHHH! Fucking… AHHH

 

Whatever I’m listening to February 8, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 10:47 pm

Won’t Worry My Away

I’m going to make a concrete box

And bury everything I own

In a deep, deep hole

Where it’s wet,

Where the light isn’t shown

And after everything

In goes me

Outside will be locks

I’m fairly sure it will be heavy

And I think I will be happy.

.

I’m sorry to be morbid or anything, but I’ve got this picture in my head.

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The stereo on nextdoor was blaring pretty loudly, so I guess the person didn’t really expect me standing on the chair. Funny. Still heard the door move, and the couple of footsteps after, and I caught a glimpse of the green t-shirt and a socked foot. I guess if it had just been me on the chair it would’ve been fine – I mean I could’ve laughed it off, maybe done it a few months later. Should’ve closed the blinds, the room just felt nice with them open. Besides, I had to see.

Now I’m among a sobbing mother, these colourful, smiling, loveheart things in my hand. I don’t really belong to one, happy to take the others. This is getting all too boring at times, perfectly painful at others.

I suppose if I take the pills it might be the same thing, I’ll see you on the other side.

 

Rick <3 February 7, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 4:31 pm
Tags: , , ,

 

New Shoes February 7, 2009

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 4:25 pm
Tags: , , ,

“What?” There trembled Bertrina, her eyes pleading for the protection of the chair to be in her hands.

“I was going to show you something.”

“You where-” Betrina’s eyes lost track of the demon before her, flitting back and forth over the bending mirage: There sat the emaciated Harkoff in a white smock. “-going to show me something.”

A long while passed, the strangers grasping for reason.

“Sit down Betrina, please, I’m worried you’ll fall over.”

Voluntary movement returned to her constricted muscles, and Betrina assembled the chair at a comfortably distant location from the bed.

“A long time ago, my parents worked for the Malasrionese Ministry, my mother was a diplomat to the Jousen, she was one of the main proponents of the Malasrionese Confederation, and had fought hard to secure a fair symbiotic relationship between our two countries. I believe the world was lucky that someone who truly appreciated the ways of the Jou had the opportunity to make a real difference,” Plel smiled at his feet, as he paused. “My father drove her carriage, he was a fool. I never had much to do with him in my childhood, then again, in the whole of my life, I never had much to do with my parents – they were both killed when they both travelled to the South in a delegation responding to a Gremanese solicitation maybe twenty years ago now. The incident was entirely obfuscated to protect business investments in the South. I was very young then. Just talking, I’m told. I was made to forget most of my life when I began working for the Ministry, so I rely on what I was told by my superiors. It could be that I’m being bare-faced lied to, but that has never really bothered me, I undertook this to care for my sister’s children. She’s been dead ten years now, I can’t remember why she died. In fact I’m not even sure I had a sister, but I get to see the children I call nephews once a month for a few days – this last month an exception – and to see them happy is enough for me to live.”

Bertrina stopped looking at the photographs of the man mutilated in the desert, and watched the man in the bed in the corner of her eye.

“You know Shrendig and Foolio, don’t you? They work for you, sometimes, don’t they? They’re no different from me. They’ve been this way for far longer than I, I finished my preparation about three years ago, but they’ve been fully able aides for over a decade. They’re the most amazing people in the whole world, which is why the Minister relies on them so heavily to know things. The people we become are invisible. We’re meant to be impossible to trace, but concessions are made for when one first begins. Like me. Anyone could’ve done the task I was assigned, and under any other conditions an aide would have failed, but perfect mystery was not necessary. Which is why I was assigned the task, and why the man was left in the sand.”

“But why did you skin him? Why did you destroy him so utterly? How can you inflict such monstrous pain so mercilessly?” Bertrina’s strained voice addressed the floor, the tiles, the room.

“It’s a matter of debate whether it was I that really committed the act. Or whether anything Foolio or Shrendig does in the name of Malasrion is really an extension of their own will.”

“What?” Bertrina threw her disbelief upon Plel.

“Have you seen the sachel attached to the report?”

Bertrina paused. “Yes, there were about six white pills in it. Why?”

Bertrina’s changing expression revealed she had answered her own question.

tbc.