The Mondegreen.

That angsty teen.

Happy New Year! December 30, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 7:29 pm

To Harkoff, the business conducted in the tent was a blur of droning male voices and dry, exhausting heat. Nobody noticed when he passed out, right beside the Minister, because that was right after the argument began. Fat men, young men – men – jostled about angrily in their wicker chairs.

“You’re delusional!”

“Yes! Where the hell is the enemy?”

“Give me back my fucking factory!”

“This is all just a lie, you arrogant bastard – you’re here to scoop up what Ragzin left behind, aren’t you! That meeting you had in your precious airship was just to hand over the torch, wasn’t it?”

Open applause. The crowd started to feel like they were truly scaring the silvery man standing before an easel, gaining control. The satisfaction that smothered the rabble was obvious from the easel, fat bottoms found a new security, everything grew still and quiet. But now the ringing heat seemed to surge in stronger, the comfortability achieved for those brief seconds fast spurred into absent-minded stress. The fight seemed to waver.

The desert had been chosen deliberately for an assembly of Nela’s most influential businessmen.

“What do you say to that, Remesko, are you not just a tyrant? Once we turn this to the parliament, you’re finished!”

“Has anyone here ever seen a photograph?”

Everyone was dumbstruck. They expected drivel, five, six, seven syllable words, not causal dismissal.

Sherpie, this time. “No Noska, tell us. What’s a photograph.”

“They’re something we have Ragzin to thank for,” the old man smiled as the assembly realised their attention had been taken advantage over, and grew very angry.

“I suppose we have Ragzin to thank for you too, Despot!” More disembodied voices from the edge of the tent.

The old man waited for the heat to weigh down the wills of the men before him.

He started very slowly. “A photograph, is the recording of the likeness anything you can see.”

“Well how about that! Ragzin and his puppet Remesko paints us pictures!”

Sherpie tossed his seat into the hot sun, a small storm of dust erupted at his feet, and his steely gaze captured the audience.

“Stuck pigs! You vile creatures! For two hours now have I sat through your spoilt, childish tendencies, your belligerence! Now for the sake of my money, for your money, for the reputation of our great country, for the reputation of the ruling class of Nela, speak when you are spoken to, or I will personally put you all out of business, and then hand all your riches to this man in the satin pouch I was given by my mother on my fourteenth birthday.”

The pigs whimpered, curly tails between their legs. Sherpie didn’t bluff, Sherpie didn’t have to bluff, he’d been a very good sport these past few years, permitting competition with his steelworks he could have easily erased very quickly, because his family had close personal friendships with four of his six heads of steel producing companies.

“Go on, Noska,” the man went to go fetch his chair.

Not bothering to look at the crowd, The Minister produced a tube from his briefcase. His every move clung to, the tube was unrolled, revealing a parchment with a very detailed picture etched to its surface.

Suddenly disinterested and clinically despondent, The Minister continued. “The invention of the photograph has proved very useful to the international government of Malasrion,” he fixed the photograph to the easel.

“This is a photograph of a landship. This photograph was taken by one of my personal field operatives, and I have photographs of twelve more, in twelve different locations, with proof that the machines depicted actually are unique and distinguishable objects. Only two operatives have survived to give more detailed information about the supporting forces intended to be supplied with these enormous monstrousities, and information extracted  from further photographic evidence and covert surveillance by these individuals triple our previous pessimistic estimations.”

Shrendig and Foolio were no-where to be seen.

“Gentlemen, I have come to inform you of the very possible impending destruction of Malasrion, and the enslavement of its populations. The Gremanese have not bothered to rebuild their world with our unguided and unobserved aid, they intend to destroy ours. All of you should now become very well educated in Gremanese history and sociology, as unfortunately for me, you will all soon become military officers. Let me start your new quest. The Gremanese are warmongers. For what reason did they need our aid? For what reason did they depend so totally on the produce of the Jousen? They destroyed themselves. They were locked in yet another reincarnation of a glorious revolution, and the merciless destructive power of their new technology – this blasted landship – dealt a terminal blow to the function of their empire. The Gremanese are experts in shameless deception and illusion, fooling you and I, and our mothers and fathers of the truth of their existence for millenia, learning all the secrets of our world from cock-sure explorers who we deemed idiots and genuinely foolish Nelen men who strolled  just a bit too far into the treacherous woods of our south.

Gentlemen, I’m here to inform you of the beginning, not to recount an end. If you have sons and daughters old enough to fight, I suggest you spend time with them soon, because I can promise you, they will die.”

*

Harkoff was being pushed into a petrol-car…[to be continued]

I have it on very, very good opinion

“Noska, I’ve known you for thirty years – you don’t want to do this, you’ll go sick like Ragzin – just like Ragzin – you’re collecting too much power for one man,”

 

She’s Cathy, she’s Kate. December 30, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 12:04 am

This song lumbers along, I just love living elsewhere when I turn off and just walk around to and from the park in Jordan’s thongs. I need better social skills.

.

Light globes wash up, all along the beach.
And they light me up with, and they light me up with certainty.
Well she calculates, coincidence, and circumstance and turbulence.
Gotta see what it is, and it’s everything, and it’s endless.

‘Cause baby can’t see through, all this matter and makeup and déjà vu.
Yeah we drift here alone, with nothing to do.
Until one of us makes the other one come true.

She wants to meet her fate, but travel by free will.
But you can’t have both and you can’t stand still, still, still.
I’d be the luckiest man in the universe, if cause and effect doesn’t get there first.
But she, keeps looking for patterns, and the world just happens.

‘Cause baby can’t see through, all this matter and makeup and déjà vu.
Yeah we drift here alone, with nothing to do.
Until one of us makes the other one come true.
Yeah one of us makes the other one come true.

Yeah ’cause baby can’t see through,
through all this matter and makeup and déjà vu.
Yeah we drift here alone, we drift here alone.
Yeah we drift here alone, we drift here alone.
Yeah we drift here alone, with nothin’ to do.
Until one of us makes the other one come true.
Yeah one of us makes the other one come true.
She said these questions don’t answer like other questions do.
So just let me be here with you.

 

I am going to be an island. December 27, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 12:36 am

Read your horoscopes.

.

It’s all falling off. Falling off all the bones. I remember when your skin used to be so dark, and when you spoke at me with all your conviction, crushing me into the earth, into the tiles, into the lino, your face became a living, breathing stone tablet to read. It just seemed so unyeilding, impassive, you couldn’t avoid it, not at that age, not over the noise of your favourite cartoon on the TV, not from the comfort of the carpet you clung to during those words, during that judgement. My utter confusion and fear during those moments, trying to decode what you were trying to accuse me of, I think you forced me to grow faster during those days than I ever have.

I hated you. I used to cry at night because you frightened me, because you taught me awful things which I repeated at school and got into big trouble. The things you used to say to me, I forgive you for all of them. You’re impetuous, I hate everything you stand for, every soul you crushed, all your ignorance.

Now you’re leaving me. You can’t leave me. I’ll, I’ll find a way – I’ll turn back time, I’ll invent a pill – I’m screaming, standing in a pool of you, trying to reassemble your body as your face, your shoulders, you just melt off your bones. Its all falling into the drain in the corner. I’m going to be sick. Stop this madness, this is like trying to keep all the air from escaping your body while your face and your mouth become so wet you stop whiping at it with your hands.

I won’t accept this. You still have to abuse everyone, you have to buy another car, you have to come with me to the Capri. Sit with us all at the round table. Please, just tell the lady I want the same thing as you.

We’re the same, I am you, and you are me, we’re both the same, all the tiniest strings and spiderwebs and all the sunrays and all the fishhooks are in you and me, thousands of knots. One tugs this way and that way and I can feel you from my house, from my walk home from school, from my chemistry class, from the sun on my back, all my burns, all my cuts…all my inside sores, I feel like everything I own belongs to you.

What am I going to do? I’m going to scour the soil and the dust for you. I’m going to be so lost. I don’t want this freedom. I want to be back there with my brother crying out of fear, and being told to shut up, I just want to watch you clean your neck and brush my hair, I’m going to die with you.

 

Stripes. Just stripes. December 25, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 9:51 am

Wwwwhat can I say?

I’m a big walker,

I walk almost everywhere.

I walk,

when things get tough

when I can’t think

when I can’t stop thinking

when I feel like I’m walking on air

when I don’t feel like walking

when my feet hurt

when my chest hurts

.

I walk more than the usual person!

 

Might’ve been in the paper, maybe on TV. December 24, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 12:02 am

There he is again. He always balances himself on top of two chairs while trying to reach the top of it all, I’ve given up trying to hold a ladder for him – he says the way the chairs rock allows him to reach the unsoldered wires better inside.

He’s utterly, utterly insane. From the corner of the backyard blares Split Enz on Friday Party Mix, he’ll sing along absent mindedly for an hour or so, sometimes erupting into fits of swearing and jumping around the yard – first his hands, burnt, then his feet, speared by prickles. I think I’ve only ever seen him wear shoes for that job interview. Where was that again? All I remember is him leaving the house, actually wearing shoes.

This is my Friday night entertainment and perhaps the only exercise I really get.

“Spanner.”

“Which one?”

“Don’t care.”

“What?”

“Using it to prop something up inside here.”

“Oh, okay – here’s -”

“No wait. Wait. No – don’t.. don’t worry..”

The grass has all died in the shadow it leaves, its been here for maybe half a year now – I remember the masses of paper he consumed in the months preceeding his purchase of the beast, the reams of scribbles. I remember this one page that had been scrunched and left in my bin. I’m not sure what he’d been doing in my room, and when I looked up from the unintelligible note on my desk, through my window, with my blinds and curtains drawn, I saw he had drawn all over back fence with my felt-tip marker. In fact I remember it lying there in the dirt, completely worn down to the stub.

He’s stepping down now. This means he’s done for now.

The copper tracks running down his face stretch when he smiles to himself. I can’t look at his face when he changes on these Friday afternoons, its like I’m living with the devil, those glowing red eyes.

 

I have a garden. December 20, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 1:37 pm

And it rolls in from the street. I hate the street sometimes, the cars come from no-where and they never care about you, they just move past invisibly, but they still dominate the world outside my home. The street spies in on my bedroom from the street-light, I’m going to put a towel up to get to sleep at night. Down from the big dry lawn that protects my house from the street is my lopsided garden. Since the lawn just outside the front door is lower than the lawn near the street, the garden falls downwards clumsily, and sometimes spills soil onto the lawn beneath it. The soil goes downwards, the grass from the bottom grows up. Grass from the top does invade the garden, but it lazily mills at the edges, somehow satisfied.

In the corner near the faulty gate to our equally unsightly brick-paved backyard grows my brother’s fruits and vegetables. They’re the most healthy part of the garden. Out of all the things my brother dismantles and litters the house broken, his most constructive achievement thus far has been this vegetable garden. Seeing him water his rockmelon in that wheelbarrowful of topsoil, and nursing Dad’s ignored frangipanis back to green health makes me feel safer about him. I don’t think he’s going to be heartless. I know he won’t, he’s my brother, and my mother’s son.

When I look down at the other end of the garden sometimes, kneeling on my bed, I imagine two gerberas that I might plant. One red and one blue, and I watch them fight each other. They’ll be locked in a bitter war of silence, both of them attempting to uproot each other before themselves, in a bid for freedom – they’ll somehow discover a way to use their roots as legs and go live in other ends of the garden. I think I’d be afraid to water either of them, I don’t know whether two such insufferable plants deserve such special attention. I think I’d be forced to deal with them anyway, because I can see how all those frangipanis would look at me, their leaves mixed with anxiety and warning.

I’m going to tear up this garden one day, and have it the way I like it. That ground-creeper is a faceless monster, and the grass is so hard to tame amongst the damn ground-hogging annoyance. I’m going to plant a rose-bush, maybe that rose growing with the tomatoes – the one that made a leap of faith and nestled courageously down with its unknown strangers. I wouldn’t want the rose to be lonely, though, maybe I’ll put the tomato plant with the rosebush, right up at the top lawn, to show the street that I’m not scared.

 

Two, Today December 18, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 2:31 pm

A Volvo

.

What beautiful thick doors

this car has!

Somehow, in the back of my mind,

It feels wrong to like such a pollutive machine

Would break everything I believe in

But then again, something pointless always fits me well

But I am still amazed.

I was duly informed, when I went for a ride

that there was a BREAK FAILURE

and the fuel gauge was more-or-less entirely based on guesswork

but it was the most comfortable, wonderful car ever.

I was so taken!

.

91

.

Saw a lady, walk she down the street.

Came across a water fountain,

Spraying up-straight up and down

Almost wetting her feet.

Quite clear block her path it did

She turned around quite troubled,

Behind her cutting a small fine hedge

A young man face covered with stubble.

And as my glassy big green bus

Sailed by the two

I remember the last I saw

Was that he had some gum to chew.

 

Being Conservative is like not putting batteries in clocks. December 12, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 9:41 am
 

D’y'know how much wunna’them weighs? December 11, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 3:56 pm

“It’s him!”

The Minister flew. He always flew. For his age, the man was still very fit. Before all the dignitaries assembled underneath the tent erected on the dry, cracked desert soil, down climbed The Minister of Malasrion from his airship high up, hidden by the clouds. After him climbed the infamous two, Shrendig first. Foolio got said a few brief words to The Minister before he moved towards the gathering, first met by a complaining Roggs Mallow – apparently his entire wealth had been seized.

“Its for the good of the Republic, Mallow,” on went the bowler hat.

“But Sherpies – and, and everyone’s!”

“As I recall it Sherpie gave his good will to us,” he stopped walking and produced a small brown leather book. “Yes, yes, there he is.”

“But this is against the law! You’re a despot, Noska! You’re a low down despot!”

This was heard by everyone assembled, some shared the sentiment, although most were planning to get their own way later on that afternoon. The Minister stopped a second time.

“Come here Mallow, come on.”

Red-faced Mallow paced up from behind the aging man.

“If I were you, I’d stay a bit closer to Betrina – like I suggested – so you don’t end up totally penniless after all this. I have an impressive memory, Mallow. My memory is very, very good. I remember you rubbed shoulders with Ragzin three years ago, he sorted out that annoying misadventure some of your shareholders forced you into, didn’t he?”

Mallow’s face drained.

“Mmm, yes. You are quite an idiot,” the Minister walked the rest of the way to the tent alone, Shrendig and Foolio locked arms with the sore Mallow, following behind. “Friends! Friends! Have we not succeeded thus far?”

Everyone was largely silent, they all knew what was to follow.

“I told you so! I told you all, didn’t I!”

“Sit down and shut up, would you? We’re all quite impressed, and slightly more willing to co-operate than three months ago,” came a disembodied retort from within the shade. “You miserable old man, you’ve ruined us all, we’re all in chains now.”

Already sitting at the table were Bertrina and Plel, both together, Plel dressed much the same as his two more elusive counterparts, still wearing his sand-goggles. The Minister more or less ignored the rabble of edgy businessmen and politicians, taking a seat next to the two.

“Hello sir,” Bertrina leant over. “I’m so glad you flew, the train was awful coming here, I couldn’t stand them.”

“Yes we’ve inherited a beautiful generation of selfless optimists,” The Minister laughed, taking off his hat a travelling coat. “You don’t look well, Harkoff, I trust you’re being properly looked after.”

Plel turned his head heavily to The Minister, and stared at him for what seemed an age, with watery red eyes, “No, I’m not feeling well at all, Mister Minister. It must be the water, its only now I’ve begun travelling you see.”

The Minister cast a cautious eye over the man. “Have Shrendig take you back to Nela after all this, we’ll sort this out.”

Bertrina had a sudden thought that she was being denied the truth again, and studied the faces of the two men seated on her left. The old man and his sickly subordinate fought themselves with all their wills not to feast themselves upon her face, to discern whether she truly knew.

 

Talk that Head December 10, 2008

Filed under: 1 — theamazingfruitsalad @ 9:41 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

We’re on a rooaaddd to no-where! There’s nothing like walking through enemy territory. I’m really amazed how I held together, I’m a tough little boy.